-I was so excited for summer to finally roll around. Spring semester was especially rough, and I wanted nothing more than to be on summer break, away from school.
-Even though I felt as if I were doing nothing except working, I was absolutely exhausted. Working in a coffee shop is great. The atmosphere is so calming (sometimes). But with a coffee shop comes early morning hours. People need their coffee, especially in the mornings. I began going to bed hours before the rest of my family in order to get at least 7 hours needed for daily functioning. I love my job, regardless.
-Since I'm on my way to being a grown-up, most of my close friends spend their time working as well. By the time I got home from the coffee shop around noon, after working a full shift, most of my friends were just getting started on their workdays. This left me lots of time to myself. Sometimes that's a good thing. Other times it resulted in boredom.
-As May turned into June, the disappointment of incompatibility became a reality. Incompatibility is probably one of the hardest things for two people in love to experience. We wrestled with the options for a good month. Ultimately I was more disappointed than anything.
-On June 19th, the incompatibility became too obvious. My two and a half year relationship ended when we realized that dragging something so great out that would ultimately end in more disappointment was pointless. I experienced heartache like I never have before. The dreams of a wedding and white picket fence with my two-and-a-half-year companion were crushed.
-Here's the cool part, though. I have never in my whole entire life experienced God's peace like I have in the past three and a half weeks. Sure, I was heartbroken, but God is so good. After a lot of prayer, a lot of tears, and a lot of good conversations with people that love me, I have never felt more at peace. I know that although our decision to end our relationship was painful that it is part of God's plan. I don't regret it for a second. Even though I still have painful moments everyday, I'm reminded of a Creator that loves me and has a plan far better than anything I could ever imagine. Peace is the coolest feeling. I can sit and be still and breathe and know that I'm a daughter of the King who has a far better plan than I could ever come up with (even though I'm the queen of planning and controlling).
-Camp JOY. In just the knick of time, I was whisked away to the mountains for my week of camp. If you've read my blog before, or if you've talked with me for more than 5 minutes, you've heard me mention something about special needs, or Camp Joy. All of last week, I was able to love on the people that inspire me more than anyone else. (I had a whole 2 paragraphs written here about my week at CJ, but I think I'm going to save that for another post!)
-I leave for Africa (Swaziland to be exact!) in 27 days! I am so excited. My heart breaks already when I think of some of the people and situations that I'm going to encounter. But my heart is also filled with SO much anticipation. Can I tell you a cool story? Ok. To go on this trip I needed to raise $3000. I was at $2950 when I met a lady at the coffee shop who noticed my desktop background plastered with the faces of the most PRECIOUS African children. She questioned my purpose for having it there, and of course I told her all about my trip. As I got back to my "work" (Facebook. Twitter. Blogger. You know how hard life over the summer is) and she got back to hers (real work, mind you), I noticed that she was approaching me once again. She pulled out a $50 bill and said "I know this isn't much, but I'll be praying for you and I hope that this can help you reach your goal." Little did she know that that was all I had left to raise. I've now raised well over my $3000 and will use the extra to purchase Bibles written in the native language of Swaziland. God is so good. And I, as well as my parents, are completely (well almost completely) at peace knowing that when He gives a call, He most certainly provides.
-Though times are hard and yet so exciting, I'm growing. More than I have in a while. I'm trusting and surrendering. I'm understand that my plans are so insignificant. They mean nothing. And that's a huge lesson that I, the control freak, have needed to learn for a really, really long time.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" -Pslam 37:4
